I'm back! Let's talk women.

So hey, hi. It’s been a while.

I posted back in October that I was going to take a break from this blog, and you can definitely say I've pulled through on that statement.

In that time I’ve graduated university, fully settled into my first “adult” job in London, taken a trip to Disneyland Paris at Christmas time, grown my YouTube channel from around 1.5k to now 4.2k subscribers, and eaten a lot of very aesthetically pleasing food.

Congratulations - you're now all caught up on my life.

I started this blog when I was 19, and my 23rd birthday is now just a month away. With that comes the usual *what am I doing with my life* self-induced existential-crisis that seems to haunt every twenty-something these days, all because they’re not living up to the Instagram-worthy version of themselves they’ve built up in their mind.

While I do want to start sharing more of these internal ramblings with you all going forwards (yes, I will be transitioning slightly away from being a purely Disney-focused blog because I’m trying to curate an identity that doesn’t wholly revolve around Mickey Mouse and pretty walls), today I don’t want to talk about me.

I want to talk about all the incredible women in my life that make me ‘me’ (okay, so it is still a bit focused on myself, but that’s not the point).

Today is International Women’s Day, a glorious event where, for 24 hours, you will see spiels of inspiring feminist posts on your social media timelines (inevitably sprinkled with the occasional uncalled for ‘pity-party, what-about-me’ posts from a victim-playing man wondering when HIS day is; it’s November 19th, chill out).

I want to weigh in on all that positivity centred around women today with my first post back, because in the past couple years I’ve truly cultivated the most incredible group of strong female friends who have defined and shaped how I experience the world and also see myself.

Gone are the high school days of looking each other up and down with a pursed lip and raised eyebrow, questioning and undermining any attempt at raising your head above the pulpit of what has been deemed acceptable for someone of your age, in your position, in your town, of your popularity level.

Instead, the women I now love celebrate our differences and embrace our imperfections, while also bonding over those things that we share and the struggles we face – preferably over a pretty slice of cake and a hot chocolate (nope, I still don't like coffee, so I guess I'm not *that* grown up yet).

Gone are the friends who made me feel lesser for wanting to be more, for questioning my decisions simply because they differed from theirs – whether that was deferring my university place by a year, starting a YouTube channel and putting myself out there online, or choosing to spend not one but two summers working in Walt Disney World when arguably neither experience necessarily advanced my career (though they certainly advanced my personal journey to self-acceptance and fulfilment).

In 2019, I can proudly say that I now have a group of women around me who want only the best for me, as I do for them, counselling each other through our hardships and celebrating our successes.

After all, real women fix each other's crowns.

We speak openly and in depth on the more troublesome topics of today, like messy politics and gender inequality, and in the next moment we’re doubled over laughing because one of us spilled food down ourselves or said something silly.

We’re sending each other updates on our accomplishments at work, and 5 minutes later we’re sharing aimless ramblings on Snapchat about what we're having for dinner.

So this first post back is dedicated to all of you, you wonderful women who I adore, who tell me I’m #thriving simply because I went for a run, who comment heart emojis on my Instagram acting like you’ve never seen it before when in fact you approved it and its caption 3 days before, and who, most of all, watch the ads before my YouTube videos (even when they’re 5 minutes long). I owe you. I love you.

And because of you, despite the fact so much of my life still seems so scarily uncertain, I'm happy and somehow comfortable being me. That's a big energy to start my first 2019 post off with.

Emily x